asswipe

Don Cherry Whines Like An Old Pissbaby About The Carolina Hurricanes' Postgame Celebrations

Well, it was bound to happen eventually. The secret society of old, decrepit members of hockey media recently had a meeting and decided that Don Cherry would be the latest ancient asswipe to drone on about the Carolina Hurricanes and the team’s postgame celebrations. For those unaware, one of the most easily-forgotten teams in the NHL decided this season to start celebrating their home wins with a rendition of the famous Iceland viking clap and a choreographed celebration of some sort immediately afterwards. It’s usually a lot of fun. The fans love it, the players love it, and the celebrations keep getting more and more creative.

But Cherry was having none of that on Saturday and vomited out some diatribe about this not being the “right way” to enjoy the game of hockey.

If that sounded like he spent most of the time babbling incoherently, it’s because he most certainly was. Here’s my attempt at transcribing some of that drivel:

Alright, now listen, listenlisten: This is the National Hockey League. Brind’Amour is a good coach he pla- These guys, to me, are jerks. You have to do this the nas- They’re still not drawing. This is, to me, and I’ll tell you one thing, they better not do this in the playoffs. What I don’t understand is Brind’Amour is a straight shooter, he always was. This is a joke! The rest of the guys, “young men, expressing themselves, for joy of winning” you don’t do this thinginthe nat-this is professional hockey! What are these guys, jerks or something? And I tell you one thing: they do this in the playoffs, making fun of the other team they’re not...

[a merciful Ron MacLean interrupts]

The Hurricanes, for their part, responded well to the rant on Twitter. They hatched up an “Old Man Yells At Cloud” image, they changed the account’s bio to “the bunch of jerks with fun celebrations,” and, best of all, they used one of Cherry’s dumb arguments against him:

It’s not that it’s a surprise that people are still arguing about something so trivial ruining the “sanctity” of this sport, it’s just irritating that someone with a brain as melted as Don Cherry’s is getting a lot of money to go on TV to give his bullshit opinion on it. Let people have fun watching hockey, you joyless bastard.

Big Brother's Jade and Joel still don't get along: 'He's a pompous little asswipe'

Oh dear. There appears to be no love lost at all between Jade Lynch and Joel Williams.

The Big Brother pair have expressed their intense dislike for each other, despite attempts from other housemates to calm them down.

Big Brother Day 14: Who had a good day, and who had a bad day?

Earlier on, Jade discussed Friday's eviction with Nick Henderson - both of whom were unaware of Big Brother's nominations twist.

Nick predicted that the viewers' perception of Jade will be mixed - there will be times when people will feel sorry for her, but on other occasions they'll think she's enjoying being singled out.

He added: "I don't want to go. It's a great journey. It's been medicinal to me. It's made me find myself a little bit."

"I've had such a big transformation from the first week," Jade commented. "The first week, that's who I am but she can't handle this. This Jade can. She can take it ten times harder."

Joel confronted Jade, telling her that he believes she bitches about him in the Diary Room. Jade replied: "Before, I didn't. But afterwards, I'm very cautious of you."

When Joel asked whether she thinks he is a devious person, she responded: "I just think you're young" - a comment which Joel and Nick found "patronising".

Jade was later found by Nick and Kieran McLeod in the Sky Room alone and crying.

Jade admitted that she struggles with pretending to like people she doesn't, to which Kieran replied: "Sometimes, you've got to get along to go along."

In the Diary Room, an upset Jade told Big Brother: "I didn't know how dirty this place would be, in regards to the people."

She added of Joel: "I'm that close to calling him a pompous little asswipe to his face."

Meanwhile, Joel openly told Nick and Harriet Jackson that he hates Jade. But Harriet defended Jade, explaining: "I think she's very misunderstood.

"If you've got three women in this house who don't like her, it's intimidating - and then you coming along saying, 'There's hairs in the bath. Jade used it last. I hope she gets scalded in the bath'."

Nick agreed with Harriet, encouraging Joel to "give Jade a chance".

Big Brother: Timebomb continues tonight (May 27) on Channel 5.

Nick Hewer can’t believe the ‘asswipe’ on Countdown

U asswipe: Another rude word has come up on Countdown (Picture: Channel 4)

Another rude word has made an appearance on Channel 4 game show Countdown, leaving gentle host Nick Hewer stunned.

Nick was told to ‘block’ your ears by the show’s lexicographer Susie Dent before she revealed the seven-letter word ‘asswipe’ during the letters round.

After Dictionary Corner guest Raj Bisram suggested the word ‘passive’, Dent came in with some telly gold.

Laughing, she said: ‘Block your ears Nick, there is a US slang term for a fiendish or contemptible person, or toilet paper, and that’s asswipe.’

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A shocked Nick said: ‘I can’t believe that’s in the dictionary!’ as the studio audience had a Countdown-appropriate chuckle.

Dent replied: ‘It is, and it’s been there since the 1950s and it was found in Saul Bellow’s novels.’

‘Well, he was a great writer but that’s no excuse for putting it into the… amazing,’ Hewer said.

We couldn’t bring you this lovely bit of news without reminding you of the time ‘gobshite’ was one of the words in Dictionary Corner.

Dent even provided us with a definition, explaining: ‘It’s vulgar slang so you have to be careful…a stupid, foolish or incompetent person.’

Countdown airs weekdays at 2.10pm on Channel 4.

MORE: Rachel Riley left cringing after the word ‘gobs***e’ comes up on Countdown.