I had a later abortion because I couldn't give my baby girl both life and peace
Kate Carson, Opinion contributor Published 5:00 a.m. ET Feb. 19, 2019 | Updated 8:40 a.m. ET Feb. 19, 2019
People are talking about me again, loudly, unkindly. Even the president of the United States has had his say about families like mine. I have told this story so many times, but I will tell it again as many times as it takes.
I help run a support group for families who have ended pregnancy after poor prenatal or maternal diagnoses. If you’re wondering, “Who are these women who get abortions in the third trimester?” We are. I am. Parents who love our babies with our entire hearts. Desperate acts like an abortion in the 36th week of pregnancy are brought about only by the most desperate circumstances and are only available to those who can come up with a lot of money quickly.
I know. I’ve been there.
My daughter, Laurel, was diagnosed in May 2012 with catastrophic brain malformations (including Dandy-Walker malformation) that were overlooked until my 35th week of pregnancy. I did not know much about brain disorders at that point. I imagined developmental delay, special education classes, financial pressure, an overhaul of expectations for Laurel’s life and my motherhood. Here were the doctors’ real expectations for Laurel: a brief life of seizures, full-body muscle cramps, and aspirating her own bodily fluids.
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When I heard the list of all the things my beloved daughter would not do — talk, walk, hold her head up, swallow — I grasped for what she would be able to do.
“Do children like mine just sleep all the time?” I asked.
The neurologist winced. Children like yours, he told me — slowly — are not often comfortable enough to sleep.
Our choice was sad — but clear
Let me answer some questions you might be thinking: Yes, we were sure that these problems were severe. No, there is no cure, nor any on the horizon. Yes, we were counseled in-depth on our options, including adoption. Because we wanted to spare our daughter as much suffering as possible, our choice was very sad, but crystal clear: abortion.
Kate Carson in Paris, France, in 2016. (Photo11: Family handout)
I imagined an abortion at eight months would be grisly. But no matter how violent my imagination, it surely could not compare with the suffering Laurel would have endured in her own broken body.
In Massachusetts, my home state, a later abortion can be obtained only if the life or health of the mother is at risk. So I set off on a 2,000-mile journey from Massachusetts to Colorado to access this abortion. I landed, not in the nightmare I had imagined, but in the safest, kindest, most dignified hands I have ever encountered as a patient anywhere. Dr. Warren Hern at his Boulder Abortion Clinic is one of the few doctors in the country performing this procedure. After a single injection and a couple of hours, my baby was laid to rest in my womb, the purest mercy that I knew how to give my Laurel.
As the usual hubbub of hate and misunderstanding around abortion swelled to a roar this month, the president unfairly addressed families like mine in his State of the Union address. He hasn't really listened to women like me or doctors like Dr. Hern. He seems to care nothing for the true stories of heartbreak, loss and extreme medical complexity behind abortion later in pregnancy. Instead, his agenda must inflate fear and horror until every last American thinks of unspeakable violence.
Mercy means something different to each family
This is not about abortion. It is about power. This administration needs the public to be angry at women like me and misinformed about what compels women to seek later abortions, which make up less than 1.5 percent of abortions, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. But I believe that Americans can hear our story and meet the painful, complicated truth about abortions later in pregnancy with love and understanding.
And most Americans have compassion for a woman's choice when it comes to her reproductive health care. In fact, nearly 70 percent of Americans do not want to see the Supreme Court completely overturn Roe v. Wade, according to the Pew Research Center.
Nobody loves Laurel more than I do. Her death was a gift of mercy. Mercy means different things to different loving families, and that has to be OK. To all the families who faced similar circumstances and made a different choice, I honor you. I trust your wisdom. I celebrate your child’s brief and beautiful life.
We must treat each other with love, tenderness and respect. It is horrible, as a parent, to choose between life and peace for our children, especially when we want to give our children both beautiful and precious gifts.
It is devastating to lose a child. But, unlike most bereaved parents, women like me will live out the rest of our lives as scapegoats, fuel for an agenda that seeks to strip women and families of our reproductive freedoms.
When I think of my baby Laurel, I feel love and peace. Unfortunately, I cannot be with that peace because there are fresh wounds in the way, the throbbing pain of being hated and misunderstood.
Kate Carson is a teacher and mother who lives with her family in the Boston area. Kate is a member of NARAL Pro-Choice America.
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Gov. Reynolds announces state won't try to reinstate 'heartbeat' abortion ban
DES MOINES — Calling it an “extremely difficult decision,” Gov. Kim Reynolds announced Monday the state won’t appeal a judge’s ruling from last month that Iowa’s new “heartbeat” law mostly banning abortions violates the state constitution.
Senate File 359, passed in the 2018 Republican-controlled Legislature and signed into law by Reynolds in May, never went into effect as a judge stayed it amid a legal challenge. The law would have banned most abortions once a fetal heartbeat is detected, typically about after six weeks of pregnancy.
The Guttmacher Institute, a national reproductive health care policy and research organization, has described Iowa’s ban as “the most extreme anti-abortion measure adopted” in the country in 2018.
Planned Parenthood of the Heartland and the Iowa City-based Emma Goldman Clinic quickly sued to have the law tossed under provisions of the state — not the U.S. — constitution.
Last month, on the 46th anniversary of the landmark Roe v. Wade abortion ruling of the U.S. Supreme Court, Polk County District Judge Michael Huppert agreed with the advocates, saying the state’s heartbeat law is “violative of both the due process and equal protection provisions of the Iowa Constitution.”
With the clock ticking on seeking a review, Reynolds decided an appeal would be fruitless.
“When I signed the Fetal Heartbeat bill last May, we knew that it would be an uphill fight in the courts that might take us all the way to the U.S. Supreme Court,” the Republican governor said in a statement. “But everything changed last June, when the Iowa Supreme Court struck down our 72-hour waiting period after concluding that the Iowa Constitution provides a right to an abortion and imposes strict scrutiny on all our abortion laws. I think the Iowa Supreme Court got it wrong.
“But after this decision and because of Planned Parenthood’s legal maneuverings, I see no path to successfully appeal the district court’s decision or to get this lawsuit before the U.S. Supreme Court.”
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The state’s fetal heartbeat restriction was made law last year shortly before the Iowa Supreme Court struck down a less-restrictive abortion rule passed by the 2017 GOP majority.
That law, which was signed by then-Gov. Terry Branstad, would have required women seeking an abortion to wait 72 hours before proceeding.
That law also established a ban on abortions after 20 weeks of pregnancy, but that has not been challenged in court.
In a statement, Planned Parenthood said Reynolds made the right call to drop the case.
“The fact that this ruling will go without further legal challenge is a victory for every Iowan who has ever needed or will need a safe, legal abortion,” said a statement from Erin Davison-Rippey, Planned Parenthood’s state executive director for Iowa. “It is also a reminder that our fundamental Constitutional rights must be protected, and our judicial nominating process must remain intact, free from intrusion by partisan politicians. Checks and balances live at the core of our democracy, and personal beliefs have no place in the state Constitution.
This session, the Iowa Legislature so far appears taking different tacks toward stymying such adverse court rulings in the future.
A measure to change the way Iowa judges and justices are selected, Senate File 237, is advancing. The bill would remove the Iowa Bar from playing a role in electing members of the district judge nominating commissions and the statewide commission that vets candidates for the state appeals court and the Iowa Supreme Court. Those commission members would be picked by politicians.
Changing the 57-year-old process is necessary because “Iowa has one of the most activist supreme courts in the country with rulings against law enforcement, a ruling ‘finding’ a right to abortion and redefining marriage all in direct defiance of your duly passed laws,” according to Chuck Hurley, vice president and chief counsel for the conservative Family Leader group.
In addition, Reynolds has voiced support for a state constitutional amendment saying the state does not guarantee the right to an abortion.
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“The decision not to appeal is hardly a surprise when Iowa’s Supreme Court has already indicated it will go to any length, even twist the Iowa Constitution, to preserve the killing of unborn children,” the Family Leader said in a statement after Reynolds’ announcement, and also called for such a state constitutional amendment.
“Rather than be distracted by a losing legal battle, now is the time to renew our focus on changing hearts and minds and to seek other ways to advance the cause of protecting the unborn in Iowa and around the nation,” Reynolds said. “I’m proud to lead the most pro-life state in the country and remain firm in my belief that all human life is precious.”
James Q. Lynch of The Gazette Des Moines Bureau contributed.
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